Gorgeous? YES!!!
Alexa Chung Is A Beaut.
So as you may of guessed, i didn't end up going to the BF's today, instead i stayed indoors, on my own feeling like poo. My food intake is out of control...i NEED that control back. But how??? It's like i've lost all sense of reality. I see food, and eat it...then feel shit...so eat more..it's like a viscous circle!
HELP ME.
I need that control back again. You know what i've eaten today? :
-Bowl of cereal
-Ham roll-MORE cereal
-Chicken pie with veg.
-CHOCOLATE.
WTF. IS WRONG WITH ME?????? I can't stop. I was so in control before..so what happened? My stomach was flat, i felt good...now it's bulgy...my collarbones are disappearing and i feel like utter shit.
I want to feel good again, i'm SICK of feeling ugly and bloated.
Can someone PLEASE give me some inspiration?
The homecare team are coming round tomorrow, to talk about making plans for the next step. Blehh. I don't want to..i'm just an out of control freak who lets food control her life.
I should be the one controlling the food!!!
I might also go to the BF's tomorrow aswell...i can't really not see him 3 weeks running can i? We have been going out near on 2 years...But all what i said before in previous posts still applies. We did speak on the phone today..which again..puts me off of going as he kept asking, "Are you eating?" ETC ETC...Which means he will watch me eat when i'm round..=/
I just need to take a stand, need to gain my control back!
ITS MY BODY AND I SHALL DO WHATEVER THE HELL I LIKE WITH IT!
Much love,
Astra x
I know it probably bugs the crap out of you but your boyfriend's only asking out of concern. Not that I'm excusing any of way he's acted towards you - you deserve so much better.
ReplyDeleteBe strong xxx
Idk if it´s your case but I start eating like crazy when I see I´m getting thinner, I sabotage myself by eating and eating, if that´s the case you should ask yourself what you really want(I don´t want to sound like a bitch but it helps me). Or maybe you´re just nervous but it will go away.
ReplyDeleteMy ex also bothered me about what I ate...but they are just caring.
Take care sweetie
Hang in there. You are going through a tough time and your body wants some comfort and it obviously sees food as comforting. Try to take your mind of things and do things that you enjoy that does not involve food. I know its easy to give advice and hard to follow it. You have people who care for you and will support you.
ReplyDeleteHope this weekend can give you some relief. *hugz*