Hmm...Normal(ish) Day?

Hello Ladies x

        Well today has been relatively....normal!? Whatever that is! HAHA.

I did have a rather long lie in though! until 2pm! haha!!! Today was a lazy day and i enjoyed it!...I partly stayed in bed because one of the therapists was downstairs talking with my mum...and i wanted to hear what they were saying without me! Basically..nothing interesting. Blerghhh.

Hmm..any news? I have to go to the doctors on Monday to get my meds upped to a higher dose because my mum thinks "I'm losing control"...well thats what she said to the therapist. ( She would of never said that if i was in the same room).

       I also need to contact a new therapist to get councelling and stuff...as the home care team are taking me off their register as they never keep people on more than 4 weeks!...Which i think is a little pathetic! What happens if you get worse after 4 weeks? DUMBASS!

Oh yeah...the cat had a dream today, as she was sitting on my bed..twitching, making grunting noises..and then she FARTS. Ohhhh nice! ( Just thought id add that in there)!

But anyway...food wise?

Not a good day really...but i didn't really feel that guilty because i felt sort of..."normal" today.

-Little breakfast (200 cals)

-A chocolate cookie ( 100 cals?)

-Dinner- 2 chip stuffed buns ( 400 cals?)

So yeah...not good. Around 900+ calories altogether...but probably worked come off because i tidied the house again! Go me!! HAHA. See this is why i don't think i have an ED, because i still have "normal" days?
I'm so odd...one day i cut all because i ate a chocolate bar...the next day i eat all this..and feel...fine? Does it make any sense to you?

Oh yeah....AND. I rang the BF today as i missed his calls beforehand..as i was in bed,

" Come up to mine today? You can stay over."

"I can't i'm having a friend round this weekend"

Since when? i told you to keep this weekend free INCASE it was OK for you to come round.

"Well i don't remember this. I can't...it's 3pm now..i have to have a bath yet and get ready..theres no point, i'll see you in the week?"

"No i can't see you in the week. Whatever. BYE."

I mean WTF? I'm sorry i have friends? And he did not say to keep this weekend free. ARRGHHH. He makes me so angry. Am i meant to put my life on hold, more than it is already INCASE i can come round? What happens at the last minute if i can't stay over? That means i have nothing to do all weekend...yeah...thats a good idea! More time to think. He seriously does not understand sometimes, if ever.

But...i love him.

So tomorrow is a new day, I'm seeing my best friend, and then sleeping over! And i'm determined to work off all these calories i've gained today. Tomorrow i shall eat minimum, walk ALOT. And plenty of fluids :)

I'm going to do it for me, AND for you girls :)

Lots of love, Astra x