HEAD FUCK.

Ok...so its early, and i'm in an ok mood..when i say "ok" i mean shit. Dunno if im gna be able to see the bf at all this weekend, s will have to wait until next =/..i cannot do that, i NEED to see him. He keeps me sane. And just the thought of not seeing him makes me want to cut. Thats bad right? And clingy?
OH WELL WHO CARES? Me?..
I got a text from a very close friend last night whom i love so very very dearly. She worried me, she going though similar experiences i am, or most of you are. I can't lose anybody else =/ She has no idea what she means to me. I don't even know what i'm saying anymore  to be honest. My head is fucked this morning. I ate a little breakfast, and guess what? Ohhhh! i feel sick again. Why do i bother? ...The simple fact that i do not want people on at me that im skin and bone. I can see my back ribs now. Every bone inside is popping out to say hello. But i don't want to change. I'm simply too scared, I want some stability here! My BMI is like 16? classed as underweight right? WTF. I don't care, why should i? ITS MY BODY. i will do as i wish!

Astra x