WTF.

Oh my god, my posts have been depressive..and this one isn't much better. I just got off the phone to my dad, i had to answer his calls sooner or later, and surprise surprise, he was drunk. He is an alcoholic you see. Hense why my parents split when i was a baby. He chose alcohol over me. Still does. Thats why i've never had a father figure in my entire life. Well anyway...we spoke on the phone, it was all about music or him...nothing about me. It's like "hi! i'm your daughter, remember me? " No..i thought not.
 Alll i ever wanted was a father. I got a drunken dad instead. His side of the family suffer with depression etc...so it was inevitable i was going to get something!
Well today however...was alright...haven't really eaten much, not been hungry. But oh my god, do i miss my friends.  Especially J and K, lets call them. J is the one going through similar stuff i am...but something tells me lately..she doesn't want to know me..i'm the one all the time trying to talk, txting ringing....So i've decided  BACK THE FUCK OFF! Maybe she doesn't want to talk to me? I'll let her come to me from now on ok? Promise?
And now moving onto K, well i miss him like fuck. He makes me feel so light and airy, like im not depressed. I can laugh, talk about anything, with him thinking..ohh right! sure... or something bad. He doesn't judge. Thats the best thing..And hopefully i'm seeing him tomorrow. Cheer myself up, I need a hug. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.


Astra x