Fuck Everything

Oh my lovelies,

I'm in a sort of fuck everything mood.

Fuck S, fuck life, fuck food, fuck me and fuck everyone that doesn't believe in me.

Everything seems a big blur right now...my mind has gone into over-drive.

I had a "manic" day today..the ones where you have to do EVERYTHING right that minute. And now my mood has once again, plummeted. 

I feel numb. All i can feel is death. Does that make sense? The big looming voice is back.

"Your going to die soon"

I don't know what to do, or think, or say. I hate this, i hate this so much. I wish i could take a million pills and just fall asleep forever.

I feel like over dosing on my Diazepam pills, because they are a sedative, if you do OD, they just send you into a deep coma. It feels very tempting right now. Seriously.

I don't want to cut, i just want to sleep.

I ate like a freaking monster today. I was doing so well, because i'm currently re-decorating my room, then my mum made me stop for lunch and i gorged.

Fat cunting wanker.

I'm sorry....

I love you amazing girls.

Astra x