So, do you like the new look???
I got bored :)
( i have kept the old look HTML just incase i change my mind again though!)
Anyway..........
BINGE BINGE BINGE
That's what today has been!! Fucking useless i am. I've eaten a shed load of food today, don't ask why! because quite frankly i don't know! Stress?
12873764478 calories consumed today!
Today has again been....ssllloooowwwww..so done nothing at all! Had a lovely relaxing bath, as hot as lava! In an attempt to get the circulation back in my feet and legs, i have really bad circulation! I have heard weight can effect blood circulation?
But i've always been like it, my feet, legs and hands are either stone cold, or sweating and hot...god sake!! isn't there an inbetween???
In other news, i haven't cut in days! It's a miracle. My cuts are finally starting to heal.....but.....there is another reason why i don't want to cut for a while.....DON'T KILL ME OK???
I agreed to meet S next friday.....
He kept txting me saying he was missing me etc....so i gave in and said we could see eachother Friday. I'm not even sure why i agreed...i don't know whats going on with us...we aren't going out...but still all lovely dovey txting and shit, and after Friday, i have no idea when i will see him again. I'm SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!
And then there is C....i'm being lovey dovey with him too....and we aren't going out either. So it's not cheating...and they both know the score, which is that, i don't know what i want right now...( but they don't know about eachother) EEP.
Is that slutty of me? We aren't having sex or anything, just cuddling and stuff :(
I need food.
FUCK OFF NO I DON'T!!!!
I'm officially a binging monster with no self esteem.
Astra x
cuddling is fine. and i like the new look. <3
ReplyDeleteand join the club-- (binging) monsters (with no self esteem), inc. haha ^^
I like the new look as well! And it;s not slutty if there's no sex involved. Just try no to be a heartbreaker :)
ReplyDeleteYou are not useless.
ReplyDeleteWhatever your reasons for doing so, I'm SO glad you haven't cut recently.
I hope things go well with S when you see him - I'm glad they both know where they stand but be careful not to lead them on. If you don't know what you want it's fine to have neither. Your value is not defined by being with someone. It's by being YOU.
Be strong beautiful x x