You'd Do Anything For Love?

Hello beautys,

Well, last night wasn't fun at all....

After i wrote my last post, S and i started talking again, because he wouldn't stop txting.

BIG MISTAKE.

Shouting match, after shouting match.

Til in the end he said he was finally "done with me"

The guy i love, said he was done with me...

And so....i lost it...i grabbed the blade in my room and cut as hard and deep as i could... over and over again, until well...there was no room left to cut anymore...

And now i have deep cuts all over my arm. kind of got worried when my entire arm went numb and my veins started bulging though....it's ok now though.

And then i started being sick for no reason? I think it may of just been stress, coz i was getting chest pains with it..no need for purging then!..guess thats one good thing?

I'm just so lost and scared right now, i feel so alone. i've got to somehow hide my arm until it heals too...god knows how i'm gonna do that.

I feel like totally giving up.

My friends have pretty much given up on me, i spend all day everyday indoors because i'm too scred to go outside and i'm losing the guy i loved....love.

All in my diary, it's just DIE DIE DIE. I HATE YOU. Just because thats all i feel right now inside.

Sorry for the depressing post...

Astra x