Hello beauty's
Well...i can't take my new pills until at least Monday now.....Wana know why??
Because stupid me, forgot what my psychiatrist said, so i don't know if i'm supposed to take them with my other pills, or stop taking them, then go on these new ones....and she isn't back til Monday...so i can't start taking them til then -____-
I have the memory of a fish at the moment.
Well...i say at the moment...but really meaning, for months! Ever since this depression hit hard, i can't remember anything.
I feel fragile and alone.
I've been invited out tomorrow night for a piss up in town....
I don't know if i want to go or not...i haven't been on a "night out" in months and months, simply because i've been too suicidal and shit. I don't know whether to risk it....
None of the friends that always ask me out know about my depression and the rest...so they just think i've been antisocial for the last 5 months....
If i don't go out soon they'll stop asking....and i don't want to lose them... =/
Help????????
Food has been good today, under 600 cals.
My mum has been on at me all of today about food.
"Have you eaten, do you want this?, i'll make you something to eat, you want some chocolate?"
ALL DAY.
NO I DON'T WANT ANY FUCKING FOOD FOR THE LAST TIME.
God i feel shit.
I need something....but i don't know what that is......
Astra x
Praying for you beautiful girl. Don't lose hope x x x
ReplyDeleteI hate when people offer me food. Can't I just tell them and they accept a no?
ReplyDeleteI would go out with your friends. As uncomfortable s it may be you need to keep them. Put on a fake smile and maybe at the end of the night it will be real.
Stay strong <3
The force food in your face card gets so old, so unbelievably quick. No usually mean no?! Don't they know that?
ReplyDeleteGoing out with your friends might brighten your spirits up a little bit. On the other hand I totally get not going out, I think the less I consume the more antisocial I become. Although it is hard to get your friends back after you have completely lost them. So maybe if you don't want to go out and do the group thing tonight, maybe you could invite one of your friends out for coffee sometime. Coffee zero cals and very little pressure.
Hope your doing better!
with love,
~Ell
Gosh I hate people offering me food. If it isn't my friends, it's everyone in my college class, and if it isn't them, it's the tutors! Like, how many times can one person say no?
ReplyDeleteYou should go out and have fun. I know how you feel though. The more depressed/lower in weight/deeper into the ED I get, the less time I want to spend with people. xx