Must Stop Stressing. NEED TO STOP STRESSING.

Dear beauties,

I need to chill out.

I need to stop stressing out about EVERYTHING.

I was even panicing today over the fact i had to take a faulty eyeliner back to the shop!

I mean, what the hell???

Fucking anxiety. That's what.

It's taking control of my life.

I'm even stressing so much that my new bra doesn't fit properly, and i've binned the receipt. It does fit, just like all my others, i've just managed to convince myself it doesn't look good on me.

WTF!!??

My excema is hell at the moment all over my legs..it looks disgusting, all red a bumpy =/

Wow...that's going to help my self esteem!

I ended up telling my mum last night that i can't cope with Christmas round my nans, so she has canceled, we are spending it at home now. And now i feel majorly guilty. A little less stressed though. I hope we spend it at my other nans instead, because it's so much quieter there.

I've also been thinking lately, i want to join a church? Like a spiritualist church?

I want to be part of something, where no one judges or thinks horrible things of you, and just accepts you for who you are. I want something to believe in.

I feel like my life is going no where and the depression has taken over.

Everything is at a stand still.

I have no idea how to "join" a church though.......

Oh yeah! And S is going out tomorrow night..getting drunk with people......PARANOIA KICKING IN. Girls will be there.....FUCK.

I wish i could escape this.

I could babble on forever about how i feel right now.

I know i've gained. The space between my thighs is getting smaller....

Thanks pills. So no matter what i eat or how little i eat, it'll make no difference because it's the pills alone thats making me gain.

I want this to end.

Astra x