Empty.
That's how i feel.
Just numbness every inch of my body.
I've binged so much, i'm not sure i even care at this moment in time.
I've eaten enough food to feed a small country.
I'll binge more, it's inevitable.
My mood has just plummeted again, surprise, surprise....
I just want to sleep this pain away.
I hate my life.
How the fuk can i go from feeling OK, to feeling so depressed...I simply don't understand.
And i have to hide it of course because i don't want to talk about it with my mum.
So i write it here.
I feel shit. I've gained. I've lost control.
I feel like i'm rotting inside....my acne is terrible.......my eczema is terrible.....i look and feel so ugly.
I actually right now at this point, want to die. I'm so close to cutting.
Maybe i will cut. I deserve it.
I actually right now at this point, want to die. I'm so close to cutting.
Maybe i will cut. I deserve it.
Astra x
♥
ReplyDeleteYou're beautiful x x x
saying "i know how you feel" is overrated, but i will say that i've been there before where you feel so far in the deep end. i know it's hard to believe, but things can get better. just don't lose hope. i wish you all the best. <3
ReplyDeleteDon't cut. Don't binge. You can turn it around! Forget about what's happened, and just start over, my love. Drink a ton of water, maybe do some crunches or something, and regain control. <3
ReplyDeleteDo not let yourself go, love.
ReplyDeleteYou have come so far.
I know that, somewhere inside, you believe in yourself.
Find your motivation, and run with it.
Things will get better, I know it.
Hang in there.
*hugs*
Stay positive, stay beautiful. <3
Try looking up pictures of greasy food.. then make up a diet plan! it motivates me... might be worth a try??
ReplyDeleteI cant tell you not to cut yourself.. I'd be a hypocrite.. but try thinking of a project to take you mind off the guilt that comes with self harm.. I think the guilt of it messes people up more than the actual act of self harm.. Well bargain with yourself, agree to cut no more than x in one week and don't go over it.. don't try to stop if you aren't ready like that will make you feel worse!!
Here for you girl
drop me an email if you want?
debbiemcdowell2011@hotmail.co.uk