Please Don't Burst My Pretty Little Bubble...

Hello beautiful girlies!

Today had been a BINGE FREE DAY!! 

HORRAY!!! :D

I did it!...i managed well under 1000 cals for the whole day!..maybe even just 500!

So pleased! :)

My mother has been on at me all day though...

"Why aren't you eating?! Your losing weight!, Are you starving yourself??"

It's been abit annoying.

Sometimes i really do feel like shouting,

"YES I AM STARVING MYSELF. NO I DON'T EAT!!!"

But...that would blow my secrets...my dark secrets that i keep hidden from everyone

Only on here is it known.

And only on here will it stay.

In other news....

I managed to customise my jeans for that new years party :)

All punked up and ready to go!..now i just need a shirt....

I cut my old black jeans off at the knee, pierced some studs through from an old belt

And just scribbled all over them! HAHA!

Sounds tacky..but looks good!

I plan to good damn good that night!

S is meant to be picking me up tomorrow to go back to his...

But he hasn't got a SAT NAV anymore...so doesn't know the way...

That means i could be waiting around ALL day for him...

NOT GOOD.

But i do plan to gt utterly wasted that night!...I don't care about the calories

( Just for one night).

I desperately need a good night out :(

For once...i feel slightly..."normal"

FUCK the depression FUCK the eating issues FUCK everything!

I'M GOING TO BE NORMAL!!!

(Just for one night)..please?

So thats all the good stuff...onto the bad?

You knew this was coming... -___-

The threatening texts from the BF's mates have started....

This happened last time...i'm just waiting for it to esculate.

I got texts with..." He is trying to kill himself because of you. You selfish cow. He is in so much pain"

ETC....ETC....ETC.

WTF??!!

To obviously....the BF has only told his half of the story..making out like i'm the bad one?

They know NOTHING of what his put me through. What his done to me.

What I'M going through.

So there you have it.

He is "trying to suicide" And it's all MY FAULT.

He should of thought of that BEFORE he treated me like scum.

I dunno....i still have my weak moments where i'd do anything just to be with him again..happy. But i know thats never going to happen. I have to concentrate on me now. And S. Maybe we could be happy?...

Much love,

Astra x

P.S: If i don't post for a few days, i'm still at S's So no blogger! :( But i shall post when i get back and update you all! :D
If i don't speak to you before New years....
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! xxx