I need to stop stressing
I need to start relaxing.
I need to start enjoying my life
I shouldn't have to live by everyone elses expectations and rules.
It's MY LIFE. I shouldn't feel guilty for the way i want to live it.
I need to live for ME. Not other people.
I need to make my own rules.
Why should i care if i hurt people? They all hurt me.
No one cares if they hurt me, why should i always be the one to pick up everyone elses shit?
I have to stop being so tense about everything.
I'm such a doormat.
Fuck people.
I need to start fighting back. I need to find ME again, because i don't know who that is anymore.
I'm sick and tired of petty arguments...i hate being shouted at, moaned at, bitched at.
I want someone to love me, for me, i don't want to be used, abused and tossed aside when ever someone feels like it.
I want to be loved, adored, admired, i want someone to be loyal to me, respect me.
It's MY LIFE. Why should i care what others think of me?
I'm gna die someday anyway.
And when i do, i'll have lived life my way.
Go out in a blaze of glory.
I can't be asked with shit anymore.
I hate my life. And i hate me.
I'm so angry.
I just want to die.
Astra x
I know those thoughts all to well. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHey, you're exactly right, it's your life and you need to do what YOU want and not worry about other people. You can't make everybody happy as well as youself, your own happiness is what you're responsible for and they are responsible for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get what you want out of life :)
Alice xx
this will be a memory soon
ReplyDeleteno 1 can love u if u dont let them love u
u are one of the most loveable people ive ever met
just your eyes can have people memorised!
ive always said u have bags of potential to be anything u want
i know its ending soon because u no this isnt sustainable and its not what u want wishing ur life over is a waste of the life ur given a life which is urs for the taking
a blaze of glory is just astras style
ur personality is fizzling out u r ashes and u need to be rekindled
i know u hate me and i deserve it i really fucking deserve it
but i cant stop loving u caring about you
no amount of sorrys will bring u back in my life but i truly mean it
i love u always babe
ill never forget you
xx
If this is what you want grab it before it is to late. Before you can not remember who you are because you buried her a long time ago. you do deserve love but yes you need to love yourself first. Stuffing and pushing your feelings aside will make you a bitter 30 something chain smoking alcoholic that hates the world. It is great that you can point out what needs fixed now it is up to you to fix it. take care and remember we are here for you though what ever you need.
ReplyDeleteyou should live your life for you. screw other people. you're the one who'll have to live with your decisions.
ReplyDeletebut don't hate your life, change it! do what makes you happy. that's all that matters, okay? <3 you should be happy.
I agree with the gist of it, but not the "Why should I care if I hurt people?". Set the example. Yes, sometimes it does suck if you're nothing but nice and you don't always get it back in return, but if the alternative is being someone awful in someone else's life, I know I'd much rather make things easier for them.
ReplyDeleteYES, you most definitely should live your life for you. We only get one life--we must make the most of it. <3 Seek out the things that make YOU happy and grab hold of them. It can be so hard not to hate life, but the only way to not hate it is to find things that make us feel something nicer than hate.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo