Dear lovelies,
Well, my self loathing has returned!
I want a flat stomach again!! I'm sick of these curves!! I want to see ribs!!!
So....next week i'm investing in some good ol' laxatives.
Hopefully they'll help get my flat stomach back!
Anyway.....
I went to see my new psychiatrist today, ( He was Chinese) So tbh....i couldn't really understand what he was saying!! Ooops. So...i went through the whole routine, of how are you feeling etc... and told him i have't self harmed in a month, how i'm not feeling so suicidal anymore, how i've put on weight etc....then went through all the bad bits....like...how i still hate myself, how i did try to kill myself last month through OD. How i still get severly depressed etc, then high....blah blah blah....
Until he came to the conclusion....i need the maximum dosage of the pills i'm on.
Thats 150mg! Double what i'm on now.
I'm gna be a walking zombie!! I already get really tired from what i'm on now, if i up the dosage, i'm going to be falling asleep all over the place! But hey ho!
I'm seeing S tomorrow, hopefully it'll go well...i'm going back to his at the weekend, so you'll hear about my adventures on Monday! haha.
Shopping spree tomorrow too!! YAY!!
Astra x
(Sorry for this boring post!)
You do realize you're self-destructing right? Why go through all this girl?
ReplyDelete-Kking Rapstar (http://snareoflight.blogspot.com)
If you are afraid of the doseage, then just tell him that. If you already get tired on half of that, then doubling it would be scary. I hope your weekend goes alright hun.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Much love x x
ReplyDeleteThink you need a better therapist.... I hate that nearly all of them try to use pills to solve everything. Like just what we need, MORE drugs.
ReplyDelete:/
I just started playing with bows and arrows. It does wonderful things for stress relief. And new hobbies are great distractions from negative feelings!