Oh Dear Life....

Hello my loves,

Well, me and S are getting along fine now! I'm a lot happier now that its all out in the open :)

I just have to persuade my mum to give him another chance now...so that'll take months before his even allowed in the house!! Fuck sake.

I told B...kind of...whats going on, i just said that me and S are now talking, and have been open about things and i'm having a "cooling down period" for a bit!...so it is the truth...kind of. I just don't want to hurt his feelings...his like..my rock. My mum asked me a question earlier though...because she said, " are you sure you don't have feelings for him?" And i was like no. But then she said, " so what would you do if he found a gf?" 

And i thought about it...i would feel really upset.  What does that mean? Do i have feelings there? Or is it just because i want him all to myself?

So, i went to the doctors yesterday, they wanted to weigh me....i officially weigh..............

7st 1lbs. Thats, 99lbs to you and me.

And i kinda like being this weight...my boobs are bigger and i'm a little curvy...never thought id hear myself say those words!! " I like being bigger" I wonder how long this mood will last before i'm restricting again!? I think it's the pills, they have put me in a good mood. And the fact i bought sexy pants today! Haha.

I also had my first berievment counselling today....that was pretty shite.

I just sat there talking about things i didn't want to talk about...along with awkward silences of me just staring at the wall. I don't know if i'll carry on with this...it just seems a waste of time, waiting all this time for it, and then i find it doesn't work! So i'm giving it one more session, if i don't like it still, then i'll stop. I've never gotten along with counselling before. I've just never liked it, this blog is where i can rant :) Your all like my counsellors :)

So apart from that, my life is pretty boring!

Same ol' shit!!

I'm still waiting for my computer to be fixed! Until then i have a temp one :) And good news is! I can look at thinspo again!! I found a way to get on the sites, through a proxy? Or something..it's like a site, that connects to other sites? Because my wireless won't let me view the sites directly....damn thing.

I have absolutely nothing planned for this week...i'm a boring fart. I'm just trying to save money!! Me and S are going down to a shopping mall soon, so i want to save up for a shopping spree!

Anyway...enough of the rambling....i hope all you girls are doing ok!!

I love you all

Astra x